Some Advice for Possibly Assisting a Loved One or Friend

Do you know someone that suffers with depression? Perhaps a friend or family member? It may be very difficult to help them, especially if they do not recognise that they require help. They may also be of the opinion that it is a waste of time to try to do anything about their condition and feel that nobody can help them. If you are in a position where somebody close to you suffers from depression, it's important to remember that they cannot just snap out of it or cheer up. They are unable to do so and being told this may be very upsetting for them and may cause them to feel additional pressure. You can assist them though, so don't give up on them and avoid them altogether. Their condition is not likely to go away without expert help and will be made worse by suggesting that they get out and party and get themselves loaded with alcohol or illicit drugs, so please do not suggest anything of this nature to them. If you do wish to help them, by all means, spend time with them and encourage them to talk about their experiences. Let them know that you are there for them to listen to them, but not to judge them. Tell them that you do notice their symptoms and the differences in their behaviour. Make the suggestion that they seek expert advice from their doctor as soon as possible. If necessary, help them to make the arrangements to see a doctor or even accompany them along to their appointment. Do follow up with them after and ask them how their appointment went. Encouraging them to do some regular gentle exercise and eat a healthy diet will also be of benefit to them. Keep the dialogue open and encourage them to talk about their depression and to find as much information about their condition as possible. It may not be easy to help someone close to you with their depression, knowing what to say can be difficult. But you can let them know that you are their for them to listen. In many cases, when a person wants to talk, they are not always asking for or expecting to receive advice. Be perfectly clear with them that they have your full attention. If you do feel that they need your advice, you may like to save it for another discussion. Use positive body language and try to maintain eye contact. The use of questions which are open ended and require more than a yes or no answer also helps. For example; "So how is this going.....?" If for some reason the conversation becomes difficult, be fair and consistent, stay calm, don't loose control and be prepared to admit if you are wrong. Equally as important, is to make sure you look after yourself. It can be very demanding to support someone with an emotional disorder such as depression, so keep yourself healthy too. Don't give up on your loved ones who suffer from depression as it is a curable condition. Most people with depression make a full recovery after seeking treatment. While the chances of relapse are real, the risk of future episodes can be determined by three things;
1. How long the depression lasted the previous time
2. Whether you have suffered from depression previously and how many times
3. Whether or not there is a history of depression in their family.
If the above points do suggest that there is a risk of relapse, don't worry too much as you will know what to expect next time and be better informed and prepared to deal with any future episodes. If your friend or loved one has no other family history of depression and is suffering from their first episode of depression, their chances of remaining well after they recover are very high. Once again, I would like to emphasise that people who suffer from depression should seek expert advice and care from a doctor or other mental health professional, absolutely as soon as possible.
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