The Wine Traveller Interviews - The Prime Minister, John Howard on The 7:30 Report, 14/9/07
Introduction by Kerry: Someone once said, “If John Howard is the answer, it must have been a stupid question.” In this election year, John Howard must be wondering what the question was. Good evening Mr Howard, welcome to The 7:30 report.
JH: Ha, ha, thank you Kerry, it’s a pleasure to be here. I don’t know who thought up that quotation, the Chaser boys, probably.
KOB: Some would say, Mr Howard, that a politician is an arse upon which everyone has sat, except a man. How would you respond to that?
JH: I’d have to turn the other cheek on that one Kerry, but I don’t think my female colleagues would be too impressed with your quote. Who’s writing your script these days?
KOB: Let me ask the questions, please Prime Minister, and I don’t use a script writer.
JH: Perhaps you should, most journalists don’t know the difference between creative writing and reporting. Get some spin Kerry.
KOB: I think we are getting off the point here ...
JH: Sorry, Kerry, carry on.
KOB: From your meeting yesterday, can you say that you have the majority of party support to remain as leader of the liberal Party?
JH: Was that a small “l” there in Liberal, Kerry? I’m not one of those.
KOB: Does it matter?
JH: It does to me – I operate with upper case principles.
KOB: Is that because you have a height problem?
JH: You seem to go from the sublime to the ridiculous in a single step. Can we get back to the point of your question?
KOB: Hey, I usually ask that. Get back to the point of your leadership, Prime Minister.
JH: Nothing has changed, Kerry, I am their unchallenged leader, I might as well follow them. And I might say, any man surrounded by dwarves looks like a giant. Now, can we leave this height and leadership thing and talk about policy?
KOB: What about policies, Mr Howard? What are yours to stay in government?
JH: Don’t you read your mail, Kerry? We send out policy booklets and media releases every second day, at great expense I might add.
KOB: Isn’t that government propaganda?
JH: No, Kerry, it is the government’s responsibility to give the voters the facts we want to give.
KOB: If you think your message is getting through, how do you respond to the opinion polls, then?
JH: Oh, look, the main function of statistics is to keep statisticians in work. Public opinion is what people think people think.
KOB: But numbers will count come election day – and every dog has its day.
JH: Granted, but I think people will discover Mr Rudd to be nothing more than a yappy Pekinese.
KOB: With a big bite, might I add?
JH: Kerry, the union bosses and party hacks have been biting at Rudd’s bum every day since he took the leadership. People have to realise the opposition never has to think, they only have to take the opposite viewpoint.
KOB: And when you are the opposition?
JH: I won’t be the opposition, Kerry. After things go from bad to worse, the cycle repeats itself, you’ll find.
KOB: Against all odds.
JH: Against all the odds and sods – the cream will rise to the top.
KOB: I’d hate to be repeating myself, Prime Minister, but the experts think the opposite.
JH: An expert doesn’t know the answers, but he gets paid heaps to look for them. Besides, how many of the so called experts have been in parliament?
KOB: So you don’t believe in experts, and statistics, what about the man in the street, the electors? What will they inherit if they vote for you?
JH: As you would appreciate, Kerry, you don’t have to fool all the people all the time, just long enough to be elected. How long can the meek hold onto the earth once they inherit it?
KOB: Isn’t that rather cynical?
JH: I’m not a cynic, I’m perfect. A cynic sees life as it is, not as it is supposed to be. Actually, Kerry, I’m rather optimistic about my perceived cynicism.
KOB: As many are asking, if a democracy is a free country, how come we pay so much tax?
JH: Perhaps you should ask Mr Costello, as we’re a team now. Actually someone said that income tax is the government’s way of suppressing the masses without resorting to violence, ha, ha.
KOB: Wasn’t John Winston Howard, was it?
JH: Ha, ha, I can’t remember, must be my age – my best asset is my memory.
KOB: To finish up, Prime Minister, what is your last word on Kevin Rudd?
JH: Dickhead.
KOB: Prime Minister, thank you.
JH: My pleasure, Kerry. Want me to ask any more questions? Kerry? Eh?
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