The Wine Traveller interviews - VADER ON THE RADIO - again!

Vader: I’d like to talk about something most Australians (working ones that is) have experienced: the job interview. That dreadful culmination of your workplace dreams, education, training and hopes based on your hard-worked CV, or in many cases, a fantasy CV. Everyone has their own story on this, but, in this election time, where have we seen any sitting members’ or hopefuls’ CVs? Do branch meetings represent a job interview? Where and when do the imported union and party officials present to their electorate  some sort of political version of a job interview with the CV that we all had to compile? Why do our prospective political pensioners for life never have to submit themselves to what we have to endure, with the over-riding big brother (George Orwell type, not Channel 10) of a work place agreement? Over to you listeners, while I play The Beatles’ “When I’m 64”.           I have a caller, are you really Peter Garrett, sir?

  PG:     Yes I am.

  Vader: Great to have you on the air, Shadow Minister.

  PG:     Thank you, hopefully I’ll be out in the sunshine come the 24th.

  Vader: I thought that you wouldn’t want to mention sunshine, with your views on climate change and your particular cranium.

  PG:     A bad choice of words, perhaps, I’ll have to head that one off, ha ha.

  Vader: Like the infamous airport words, “things will change” and some Kyoto utterings?

  PG:     Oh that was taken out of context, Vader, it was just a joke.

  Vader: Like your dancing.

  PG:     That’s a bit low.   Vader: Like your singing, too. Have you spent any of your millions on voice lessons?

  PG:     Is this interview going to be about the elections, or some sort of vilification?

  Vader: Well, it’s not a political interview, really. But I’d like to know about the wind farms.

  PG: What do you want to know, didn’t you understand my, um, our statement the other day?

  Vader: What happens when there is no wind?

  PG:     We tap back into the grid.

  Vader: That means coal powered electricity which is bad.

  PG:     Yes it is bad, but we’ll have to use it, but if it’s sunny, we can go solar.

  Vader: So on clear windy days, everything is fine, but on still cloudy days, we’re stuffed.

  PG:     We always have the conventional source at standby for these occasions.

  Vader: But how long does it take a conventional power station take to come on line? One hour, four, twenty four, what?

  PG:     I’m not sure on that,  but we will be working on other possibilities.

Vader: Like sitting around a fire?

PG:     That is ridiculous, I’ll leave you to it then.

  Vader: Thank you, that would be good. That was Peter Garrett L & G a man committed to something, or someone who should be committed.  If someone made a movie of “The Shadow”, PG should be him. Hello, another caller, hi.

  Caller: I’d like to complain how you treated our next Minister for the Environment.

  Vader: Oh, I’m not sorry about that, why should he be our next Ev Minister when he can’t hold a tune? I’m sure the noise police would be onto him.

  Caller: But you completely misrepresent what he has been saying about the environment.

  Vader: What has HE actually said? He has been a bald, blissful puppet behind Rudd’s left shoulder for weeks. They’ve said nothing new. And if it’s cloudy and still, they’re stuffed. We’ll have a blackout until good old coal comes on board.

  Caller: Oh, I don’t know about that.

  Vader: That’s right you don’t. You go and have a look for some independent experts on the matter. No one else has, if there are indeed, any. Bye now, might be time for some Dire Straits, the Labor theme song, which they share with dole bludgers – “Money For Nothing”. Thank you Mark. I have a caller.

  Caller: You’re wrong. Peter was on his left.

  Vader: Was he? Well he is a leftie. Thank you for your observation. And the other guy was a noddy.

  Caller: A noddy?

  Vader: Yeh, they stand there in the background looking from side to side nodding

  Caller: That’s right, they do. Very perceptive Vader, Bye.

  Vader: So, Peter fluctuates from the right to the left, that’s a worry. Hello, who are you?

  Caller: Hi, my name is Kyalie, I’ll have you know I really love Peter Garret and the Oils. They had something to say and they said it well.

  Vader: But they didn’t sing it well, I wonder how you understood the lyrics.

  Caller: The what?

  Vader: The words of the songs.

  Caller: Oh I never listened to them, I was always flying too high, but the beat was great.

  Vader: Sounds a bit like him now, so you’ll vote for him?

  Caller: Oh yeh, but he’s not in my electorate, where is he?

  Vader: Somewhere up the yellow brick road, but there is something else you want to say?

  Caller: Yeh, hey Pete, I’ve two sons, one’s Pete, the other Oyles. I need you babe.

  Vader: Ah, good to see our man has been out of the shadows, at least twice. Perhaps he does have the common touch so missing in most of our prospective politicians. On this media highlight I will sign off with a song from Joseph and his colourful coat, “Any Dream Will Do” - but, I would advise voters to be careful about that.

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